This has been a long time coming... Your Name: Your Email: Their Name: Their Email: Reason: Select a Reason... God told me you're not the one I am not who you thought I was I break with thee, I break with thee, I break with thee I can't take you anywhere I don't like you anymore I don't love you anymore I don't want to ruin our friendship I find your lack of faith disturbing I hate myself I hate you I have certain peculiarities I just realized how ugly you are I love you too much I need my space I need the release which only death can bring I need to sow my wild oats I think we've grown apart I'm a chicken I'm a Leo I'm a plushie and you're a furry I'm a Scorpio I'm actually a man I'm actually a woman I'm gay I'm having someone else's baby I'm leaving the guild I'm no longer drunk I'm no longer polyamorous I'm not 18 yet I'm not gay I'm on the lam I'm seeing someone else I'm sleeping with your dad I'm sleeping with your mom I'm too sexy for you I've been faking it It's not you, it's me It's not you... OK, it's you It's your birthday My social worker says I have to Size does matter Stalking you has become such a bore The Funky Cold Medina wore off The milkman got jealous The test came back positive The world is coming to an end The world is ending and I need to get laid as much as possible There isn't enough Viagra in the world Those pants make your ass look big When I hear your voice, I want to puke You are dead You are pregnant You are very boring You are worthless and weak You be outta pocket You can't hold your drink You cause a disturbance in the force You cut off my penis You didn't tell me that you have kids You don't know when to shut up You don't swallow You go to the bathroom with the door open You got real fat You harshed my mellow You killed my plants You lack vision You licked my teeth You live at home with your mom You look like El Debarge You look like Joey Ramone You look like my sister You look nothing like your picture on MySpace You look terrible in drag You lost my car You make my stomach sick You only feed my rage You pee blood You put that thing in my butt You reorganized my comic books You smell really, really bad You sold out You stole my vintage Cookie Monster slippers You think you're a summer but you're really a fall You wouldn't kill my parents You're 18 now You're a crusty barnacle You're a horrible crime against nature You're a psycho You're gay You're not 18 yet You're not gay You're not who I thought you were Your insolence displeases me Your kung-fu is weak Your moustache and afro bother me Your parachute is the wrong color and but so Relationship: Select a Relationship... can I hang onto a pair of your panties? I challenge you to a duel. I gave away all of your belongings. I just want to be friends. I need your liver. I never want to see you again. I still want to be able to wear your underwear when you are at work. I still want to have sex with you. I throw the dog poop on your shoes. I want my Journey records back. I want my Young Fresh Fellows tape back, now I will no longer stimulate your genitals. I'll always cherish that photograph. I'll be gone by the time you read this. I'll call you when I need someone for a threesome. I'll call you when I'm ready. I'll only take half of what you own. I'll see you at Burning Man. I'll see you at the bingo hall. I'm going to blog about your sexual dysfunction. I'm going to have you erased. I'm going to set you on fire. I'm gunna put pictures of you up on the internet. I'm gunna put you in your place. I'm gunna stalk you until you either have me arrested or killed. I'm having myself chemically castrated. I'm having you relocated. I'm not paying for our last session. I'm removing you from my friends list. I'm selling you on eBay. I'm sleeping with your best friend. I'm sleeping with your therapist. I'm turning you in to the law. I'm voting you off the island. I'm writing you out of my will. I've filed a restraining order. You'll be arrested if you come within 300 feet of me. I've run off and joined the circus. I've stolen your identity and am ruining your credit. I've taken the children to my parents' house. let's never speak of this again. this will go down on your permanent record. tonight I'll sleep with the girls from the sreets. you can call me when you're ready. you should go home and think about what you've done. you'll be hearing from my lawyer. you'll be the first against the wall when the revolution comes. You'll receive my bill in the mail. you're no longer my primary. you're not my father. your father and I still love you. your mother and I still love you. your trifling ways are coming to an end. Image: Select an Image... a puppy and a kitten being arrested bird pooping on a kid broken heart keychain broken heart tattoo CHiPs at the beach compassionate nun cupcakes dog with a shithead hat drinky crow in a tree fat elvis good bye! goodbye winnie holding hands in the ocean joel at lacuna johnny cash flipping the bird kangaroos do'in it kicked in the balls laughing children little kid flipping the bird love hits pooping elephant pooping terrier rejected nerd child sad clown ugly little rodent thing wayne netwon wet cat